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Single Jewish Female: A Modern Guide to Sex and Dating | Furman, Leah | ISBN: | Kostenloser Versand für alle Bücher mit Versand und. Finden Sie hilfreiche Kundenrezensionen und Rezensionsbewertungen für Single Jewish Female: A Modern Guide to Sex and Dating auf 1214.se Are you a 40 and over single professional Jewish white man or Professional Black woman in search of your soul mate? Are you open to dating outside of your​. Jewish Singles Vienna, Jewish Dating Vienna, Jewish Vienna, Jewish Singles Vienna, Jews in Vienna. jewish women Vienna. jewish women Vienna. Rachel, the hugely popular Jewish actress often credited with single-handledly reviving the art of performing tragedy in mid-nineteenth-century France, almost.

Single jewish female

Rachel, the hugely popular Jewish actress often credited with single-handledly reviving the art of performing tragedy in mid-nineteenth-century France, almost. Exclusively Jewish. Exclusively for Marriage. 3,+ Married and Counting. The World's Largest Jewish Singles Group hat Mitglieder. Let me try this again, my name is Mazal and I am a 32 year old female, 5 foot 6 inches tall.

And if you polled a collection of single women, it seems likely that a plurality of them hope to find a partner at some point, even if that is not their priority.

The Jewish community, too, suffers from this problem, albeit from a slightly different angle. Overall, American Jewish women, like many of their non-Jewish counterparts, are highly educated , highly accomplished—and relatively speaking highly likely to be single into their 30s and 40s.

This is especially true in the non-Orthodox world. Although they continue to invest in their Jewish communities, those communities are less effective than ever at pairing singles off.

Instead, many studies have shown that increased participation for women in Jewish life often leads to diminished male involvement as if that were a reason to disempower women.

And meanwhile, women in more traditional Jewish communities who do not marry often feel marginalized by those communities, as they fail to fit into the idealized model of the conventional Jewish nuclear family.

So what should we do about these single ladies? Disclaimer: I am among them. A suggestion: stop defining them by their relationship status, and instead use them for their expertise.

In fact, one of the most striking things about the New York article was that it was not a lament about women and their singleness. Women are increasingly choosing to put their careers first to become powerbrokers and change makers in the world.

Ambitious men tend to put settling down on a low priority-men can have kids into their fifties. You said ready to settle down and commit to a marriage which means he's ready to make his life outside of work about you.

That list does not seem mature. And your response Why would a man committed to a Jewish life settle for a woman who isn't?

Tell me something Not saying that men don't line up for you. Not saying that you're not great already, but if I were fishing for a specific kind of fish in a specific pond and getting no bites, I might think about what kind of bait I was using.

I unerstand this woman's pain, and I wish I could tell her it will get better. I actually signed up with KoreanCupid to find a husband but before i findished my registration I realized that no sane goy would tolerate me, what with Shabbat no Fiday night movies and kashruth.

I don't attend singles events unless they're sponsored by a Jewish organization. By doing so It's like telling the world you're not Jewish, or at leats you're willing to give up a Jewish lifestyle.

I'm still open to dating an marrying a nice goy BUT he will know from the get go who and what I am above all else, I am a Jewish woman and I love Medinat Israel above my own life.

I can cook Korean foodwithout pork and shrimp. I care passionately about what happens in Korea, but if a politician has policies that are good for Korea but bad for Israel, well I have to oppose him.

Otherwise, she risks being taken away from Judaism. I mean no disrespect, but a lady who wants somebody to "handle" her is setting herself up for disappointment.

There are very few men who want to marry, and come home, to a woman that must be "handled". Saying that you have to be handled implies that it won't be a loving relationship, but a constant, low-level conflict that must be won.

That's not a relationship that most men will willingly enter. Even if a man does, it likely won't end well for either him or her.

I think the words are beautiful, positive, hopeful, yet they don't really help. I am a someting beautiful woman who has not found that special someone.

Sometimes it is a matter of luck, some are not so lucky. The best advice is live your life to the fullest, and pursue what you love. This does not resonate with me.

All the single women I know do not suffer from lack of faith in Hashem, nor do they have an unrealistic idea of receiving what they prayed for just because they prayed.

They are open minded and try to see the good in every guy they meet. Stop blaming them and start looked at why the men that are left cannot seem to find a match.

I'm a gorgeous single genius looking for a model of perfection to adore me! What would you make of the title line above?

I'd conclude that the guy who wrote it belongs in an asylum of one sort or another! Perhaps the problem is in.

Do some reality check, humble yourself and pray to God to provide a mate suitable for you! Anonymous , May 3, AM. She was expressing the desire to marry and build a relationship.

There is no need to speak evil of her. Don't underestimate "some" goyims who love Judaism, love Israel and support its causes. Many will be happy to convert and embrace all the Jewish tenets.

I am in the exact same situation, though I spent my 20s dating Jews and non-Jews alike. In hindsight, I understand some of the choices I made were not good, but they've made me the person I am today.

Now that I'm serious about marriage, I joined Jwed. But so far, I'm meeting selfish, emotionally immature men who aren't good communicators.

I'm not talking about material things or even appearance. I'm not picky or superficial in that way.

I'm talking about personalities and attitudes, from the get go, that are unappealing. It is truly difficult out there. I'm working on myself, physically, emotionally and spiritually, to make myself into the best partner I can be.

I'm very social and and accept any invitation I receive. I'm doing what I can to make this happen. I know that I can't lose hope.

This is the thing I want most in my life, and I deserve it. Good luck out there. I simpathize with the singles because I struggled so much to find my husband.

I finally found him at the age of 39 on Frumster now JWed. He is not rich or ambitious or handsome. But he had one quality that I liked: He was honest with me and did not play mind games like most guys.

He never said I'll call you and then not call me. He was genuine. So the ideal husband that I had in my head did not come true.

I wanted someone taller than me who was an architect so that he could build our home and have financial stability. None of these things came to pass.

But in return I got a real person who wanted to get married and had a normal attitude and was open to want to get to know me.

We have problems in our marriage but at least I know what is on his mind and he knows what is on mine. Sometimes he makes me laugh and sometimes we fight and I cry.

Marriage is not perfect and singles have to change their ideas of finding a perfect person because that does not exist.

Maybe the woman would find a nice man but what if he is not ambitious? Would she dismiss him? Some people seem to have done it all right.

They married young, had healthy children, maybe grandchildren too, and are still married. Parnasa and school came easily, and they have friends, family, good neighbors,and a support system.

Baruch hashem they also have good health. But do not ever be jealous of others mazal. That is what Hashem designated for them, and for you, nisyonot.

Their tikun is perhaps in seeing if they can view you , and care about you, without looking down on you. I once read a saying, "Never look down on anyone unless you are doing so to help them get up.

Then again worse still are those who silently think the ones who have poor mazal are lacking zechusim and deserve no better. How often do we hear people say to someone unemployed, "What do you do all day" rather than say, " Please email your resume I may know someone you can talk to.

I was single until mid 30s, I married a man with serious issues unknown to me, had no biological children after 2 decades, got divorced, am unemployed, and yet here I am writing my views.

We are all valued humans, no matter if we did not accomplish what others have. We have a purpose to be here and are valued by people who are capable of placing value to others.

Never despair. Hashem does not make mistakes when he creates us. We need to do what Torah teaches and leave the rest to Hashem.

When your time to marry arrives, may you have Hotslocha. Meanwhile, realize that what is meant for you will not be denied. Hashem is kind. Freida , May 1, PM.

All the good things that you wished for her, may Hashem send for you, as well as for her.. You sound like a wonderful person.

Rebbetzin Feige states with interesting insight your frustration. If you do decide to search online, review your posting and eliminate negative words such as 'not', 'cannot', and 'hate'.

While the in context they may seem OK, individually they convey inner feelings that might inadvertently push the very man away you seek.

Rabbi Shlomo Diamond advices an incredibly powerful idea: Talk to G-d about one issue, one problem, for 5 minutes every day.

Pray to G-d to send you a husband for 5 minutes every day. You can spend some of the 5 minutes thanking HIm for stuff, talking about your pain, praying for a friend as well..

Just talk to him for 5 every day asking for a kind emotionally mature, wonderful Jewish man whom you can respect and love and who will respect and love you.

Miracles do happen. Don't intermarry. It's spiritual and emotional suicide. Wishing you the best! Miriam , April 30, AM.

Because she wants an emotionally mature mench? Yes, maybe the "ambitious" has got to go Michael , May 1, PM.

Do not your standards! Know what you must have and what you would like to have, what you cannot allow and what you would rather not have in a mate, and stick to the MUST lists.

Anything else and you invite unhappiness down the road. Anonymous , April 30, PM. What a terribly harsh remark to make to someone who is in a lot of pain.

It makes huge assumptions about her experiences with little to no knowledge of her trials. She knows what is right for her and that should be respected and supported.

Someone who knows her personally could judge if she has an unrealistic expectation but to throw a "too picky" blanket on a stranger is just wrong.

They need to get realistic. Drop the expectation mentality, and start giving the average guys she's been rejecting her whole life a more serious look.

Abigail , May 1, AM. Just because she wants an emotionally mature mensch that does NOT engender a sense of entitlement. Wanting to marry someone with whom you are compatible and like is no different than wanting health, kids, livelihood things which I'm sure you want and value.

Everything that G-d sends our way is a gift, nothing more, nothing less. Anonymous , May 1, AM. Those who say you are picky dont know much about this crisis, and should keep their mouths shut.

If a girl is in her 30's and unable to find a man, its more likely her issues than anything else. If she is supposedly such a catch, she would be set up left and right with decent men.

Again, its her frustration manifested as outward frustration. I notice your list of criteria. That it be must important to him to make money or "rise" in the business world?

That if you don't have a substantial income you can't be happy? That you are Type A and a Type B guy would make you impatient? That if you found a wonderful, warm, loving, frum, fun, emotionally strong and mature, settled and committed guy you'd pass him up because of a lack of ambition??

But that particular one makes me say "hmmm Jewish Men Inter marry. Anonymous , April 30, AM. The one thing I have learned in life, weather your Jewish, Chrsitan, there will be some women who cant commit, it doesnt matter what their faith is.

I love my partner, but it has been a very difficult road. I feel for you!!!! I was there and I know exactly what you must be going through!

I am happily married 2 years now, and we are expecting our first child. Both my husband and I rushed before and both of us were divorced by So just stay strong and be patient!

Your should mate is out there! Perhaps he simply isn't ready to meet you yet! My best advice is to really put yourself out there! Go to singles events, force yourself to attend.

And the most important advice is do not settle! If something feels wrong, don't waste your time talking to the guy Keep looking for my right because he is certainly out there looking for you too.

S , April 30, PM. I fancy myself the kind of guy the young woman is looking for. She might want to get in touch with me, or have someone she knows do it in her behalf.

The possibility beckons. Best regards, Sruli ktu7yip at outlook dot com. Some practical thoughts from a psychologist: You wrote that your goal is to have a relationship.

Men pick up on this. It makes them feel like a prop; instead of focusing on and enjoying time with your partner, you are in love with your goal to be married.

Two, you wrote that you want someone who can "handle" you. Clearly you are giving mixed messages. Decide if you want a respectful and egalitarian relationship with someone who is a loving partner, or if you want a romantic fling with a Latin lover who will "handle" you, and take responsibility for "whatever happens".

Your Latin lover will not give you an egalitarian relationship. Your loving partner will, but you will have to accept that he has insecurities and you too have to take responsibility for the direction of the relationship.

Please decide what you want before discounting the entire lot of Jewish guys looking for a strong Jewish woman. Last, make sure you keep yourself in good physical shape.

It matters a lot. Unfortunately, a very big reason people are not finding value in someone is that they didn't get raised to look at the qualities of a human being, but rather at their outer appearance and monetary standing.

This applies to many communities where you see people who are supposedly practising their religion but they are so materialistic about what they are wearing, so concerned about how their hair looks or what makeup to use.

And women who only will date a doctor or lawyer, men who will only date a good looking slim woman. How about putting some of the onus on the community to change and instill better values?

Look past what someone does for a living, what they look like, to their heart. Are we simply not meeting compatible mates?

While a quarter of American Jews have never married, Liga Plaveniece added that "of single, never married Jews, 53 percent are men and 47 percent are women.

So, if there are more single Jewish men perhaps a surprise to single female Jewish readers who lament a lack of available Jewish men , then why are nearly half of Jewish women intermarrying?

Perhaps it's because Judaism is matrilineal; no matter whom we marry, our babies are Jewish by halacha Jewish law.

I admit this is an anecdotal and not research-based assumption. Perhaps Jewish women find it harder to meet potential Jewish mates that they connect with on multiple levels, like Lianne, Sara and myself?

Perhaps Jewish men are less interested in marriage overall? The data doesn't offer answers to these questions. But what is does report is that "American Jews overwhelmingly say they are proud to be Jewish and have a strong sense of belonging to the Jewish people.

And yet our collective fertility rate, i. But interestingly, among Jews married to Jews, the birth rate is 2. And among Jews who marry non-Jews, the birth rate is lower at 1.

As Lianne gently put Jacob back into his stroller, she repeated her earlier words, perhaps empathizing with my remaining single and childless at age We thought a closer tie to Jewish observance would lead to love, marriage and children.

But luck is something we cannot control. He's out there, I thought to myself as Lianne and I parted ways. I will find that Jewish man who will smile for me, not just anyone.

Will it be too late for motherhood? I'll have to take that chance. Melanie Notkin's second book, Otherhood , lightly based on some of her posts here on Huffington Post Women , will be released in early by Seal Press and Penguin Canada.

Please donate at: aish. I left a piece of paper on the western wall asking for the love of my life for marriage on a trip to Israel. It's more ponderous to write "something" than it is to Crazyasiangfs videos "32," and it's obviously much less precise. Keep looking for my right because he is certainly out there looking for you too. When Spouse and Child are Against You. Even if a man does, it likely won't end Real wife stories jasmine james for either him or her.

Single Jewish Female Video

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Sometimes he makes me laugh and sometimes we fight and I cry. Marriage is not perfect and singles have to change their ideas of finding a perfect person because that does not exist.

Maybe the woman would find a nice man but what if he is not ambitious? Would she dismiss him? Some people seem to have done it all right. They married young, had healthy children, maybe grandchildren too, and are still married.

Parnasa and school came easily, and they have friends, family, good neighbors,and a support system. Baruch hashem they also have good health.

But do not ever be jealous of others mazal. That is what Hashem designated for them, and for you, nisyonot. Their tikun is perhaps in seeing if they can view you , and care about you, without looking down on you.

I once read a saying, "Never look down on anyone unless you are doing so to help them get up. Then again worse still are those who silently think the ones who have poor mazal are lacking zechusim and deserve no better.

How often do we hear people say to someone unemployed, "What do you do all day" rather than say, " Please email your resume I may know someone you can talk to.

I was single until mid 30s, I married a man with serious issues unknown to me, had no biological children after 2 decades, got divorced, am unemployed, and yet here I am writing my views.

We are all valued humans, no matter if we did not accomplish what others have. We have a purpose to be here and are valued by people who are capable of placing value to others.

Never despair. Hashem does not make mistakes when he creates us. We need to do what Torah teaches and leave the rest to Hashem. When your time to marry arrives, may you have Hotslocha.

Meanwhile, realize that what is meant for you will not be denied. Hashem is kind. Freida , May 1, PM.

All the good things that you wished for her, may Hashem send for you, as well as for her.. You sound like a wonderful person. Rebbetzin Feige states with interesting insight your frustration.

If you do decide to search online, review your posting and eliminate negative words such as 'not', 'cannot', and 'hate'. While the in context they may seem OK, individually they convey inner feelings that might inadvertently push the very man away you seek.

Rabbi Shlomo Diamond advices an incredibly powerful idea: Talk to G-d about one issue, one problem, for 5 minutes every day. Pray to G-d to send you a husband for 5 minutes every day.

You can spend some of the 5 minutes thanking HIm for stuff, talking about your pain, praying for a friend as well.. Just talk to him for 5 every day asking for a kind emotionally mature, wonderful Jewish man whom you can respect and love and who will respect and love you.

Miracles do happen. Don't intermarry. It's spiritual and emotional suicide. Wishing you the best! Miriam , April 30, AM.

Because she wants an emotionally mature mench? Yes, maybe the "ambitious" has got to go Michael , May 1, PM. Do not your standards! Know what you must have and what you would like to have, what you cannot allow and what you would rather not have in a mate, and stick to the MUST lists.

Anything else and you invite unhappiness down the road. Anonymous , April 30, PM. What a terribly harsh remark to make to someone who is in a lot of pain.

It makes huge assumptions about her experiences with little to no knowledge of her trials. She knows what is right for her and that should be respected and supported.

Someone who knows her personally could judge if she has an unrealistic expectation but to throw a "too picky" blanket on a stranger is just wrong.

They need to get realistic. Drop the expectation mentality, and start giving the average guys she's been rejecting her whole life a more serious look.

Abigail , May 1, AM. Just because she wants an emotionally mature mensch that does NOT engender a sense of entitlement. Wanting to marry someone with whom you are compatible and like is no different than wanting health, kids, livelihood things which I'm sure you want and value.

Everything that G-d sends our way is a gift, nothing more, nothing less. Anonymous , May 1, AM. Those who say you are picky dont know much about this crisis, and should keep their mouths shut.

If a girl is in her 30's and unable to find a man, its more likely her issues than anything else. If she is supposedly such a catch, she would be set up left and right with decent men.

Again, its her frustration manifested as outward frustration. I notice your list of criteria. That it be must important to him to make money or "rise" in the business world?

That if you don't have a substantial income you can't be happy? That you are Type A and a Type B guy would make you impatient?

That if you found a wonderful, warm, loving, frum, fun, emotionally strong and mature, settled and committed guy you'd pass him up because of a lack of ambition??

But that particular one makes me say "hmmm Jewish Men Inter marry. Anonymous , April 30, AM. The one thing I have learned in life, weather your Jewish, Chrsitan, there will be some women who cant commit, it doesnt matter what their faith is.

I love my partner, but it has been a very difficult road. I feel for you!!!! I was there and I know exactly what you must be going through!

I am happily married 2 years now, and we are expecting our first child. Both my husband and I rushed before and both of us were divorced by So just stay strong and be patient!

Your should mate is out there! Perhaps he simply isn't ready to meet you yet! My best advice is to really put yourself out there!

Go to singles events, force yourself to attend. And the most important advice is do not settle! If something feels wrong, don't waste your time talking to the guy Keep looking for my right because he is certainly out there looking for you too.

S , April 30, PM. I fancy myself the kind of guy the young woman is looking for. She might want to get in touch with me, or have someone she knows do it in her behalf.

The possibility beckons. Best regards, Sruli ktu7yip at outlook dot com. Some practical thoughts from a psychologist: You wrote that your goal is to have a relationship.

Men pick up on this. It makes them feel like a prop; instead of focusing on and enjoying time with your partner, you are in love with your goal to be married.

Two, you wrote that you want someone who can "handle" you. Clearly you are giving mixed messages. Decide if you want a respectful and egalitarian relationship with someone who is a loving partner, or if you want a romantic fling with a Latin lover who will "handle" you, and take responsibility for "whatever happens".

Your Latin lover will not give you an egalitarian relationship. Your loving partner will, but you will have to accept that he has insecurities and you too have to take responsibility for the direction of the relationship.

Please decide what you want before discounting the entire lot of Jewish guys looking for a strong Jewish woman. Last, make sure you keep yourself in good physical shape.

It matters a lot. Unfortunately, a very big reason people are not finding value in someone is that they didn't get raised to look at the qualities of a human being, but rather at their outer appearance and monetary standing.

This applies to many communities where you see people who are supposedly practising their religion but they are so materialistic about what they are wearing, so concerned about how their hair looks or what makeup to use.

And women who only will date a doctor or lawyer, men who will only date a good looking slim woman. How about putting some of the onus on the community to change and instill better values?

Look past what someone does for a living, what they look like, to their heart. I try to raise my children this way but I see in the way a lot of their friends talk that all they care about is how a girl looks.

I was actually very proud of my oldest when one day he was talking about the suitability of a pretty girl he knew and he said it would not be good because he didn't think he could have a good conversation with her and they had different interests and areas of intelligence.

Not one word about how she looked. Women who are married complain about their husbands, women who aren't wonder when they can get married. First, I would say be happy and enjoy your life now.

Perhaps in five years you will be working 8 hours, cleaning another 2, making dinner, and getting woken up twice at 2 and 4 and the morning, getting ready for another day.

You may wonder why you didn't enjoy life at the time. High school students work to get into college, college students to prof school, to a job, and you may look back and say my school years were the best why didn't I enjoy them.

That may end up helping you get married. People like happy upbeat people. I have a family member who is quite popular. Part of the reason is he is happy and fun and people like to be with him.

I have been single for some time now, had several failed relationships and now am reclusive. I have thrown myself into work and thought to be happy alone, but have found I crave more.

I know how you feel, and I want to thank you, Rabbi, for this, it will help me get back out there. It gives me back some hope.

Life has its challenges and finding a soul mate can be so trying. I understand. I guess also it happens to males. I myself is a single male in my late 40's wishing for a jewish soulmate.

Would you be interested to connect In the very first Chapter of the Torah, where God creates man, He says that it's not good for man to be alone, and that He will create him someone like him - as an alley.

If it wasnt good for the first man or woman, she was created to be a partner to be alone, who had the best contact With God ever How come we believe that God don't think it's good for us to have a partner too?

A God who created a partner to the first human, wouldn't He do the same for you? Adam had to work and wait for it to happen, so do we.

But, the God who says He loves us, surely have planned for the needs even He expresses that we have.

Stay in relationship With God, so that He can guide you there - pray for the obstacles to be sorted out, and be willing to do Your part.

Make sure you become the partner that Your future man will want to have. I dated for 8 years, and so remember the desperate feelings and thoughts that came with the experience.

I think I found my soulmate when I got my criteria down to very basic ideal. No frills, just decent, intelligent and a mentch.

I actually got much more than that, but being open and determined to building a relationship is the attitude that I think turned the tables. Don't give up, he is there for you, he just might not look like what you envisioned.

G , April 29, AM. Your desires and desperation are a very accurate description of how i feel regarding meaningful relationships.

However I am a 32 year old ambitious male who is trying to find someone who is intelligent, emotionally stable, serious about life and is ready to settle down.

Too many times i find myself dealing with 25 to 35 year old 'girls' who are not ready to act like women. On the other hand, I am NOT willing to settle for a non-Jewish woman regardless of how wonderful she may appear to be.

For thousands of years only the Jewish women had the merit to give birth to the greatest leaders this world as known. Be strong dear, it will take a good man with mature character to recognize what you have to offer.

And when that happens you can make him very glad that he choose a good Jewish women for a wife. I am an emotionally mature, ambitious guy who is looking for a deeply meaningful relationship with a Jewish woman.

We do exist! Perhaps the Rebbetzin can help I have some thoughts about this post. My son is in the midst of breaking up with a non-Jewish girl who thought she would convert but just can't go through with it.

Please do not date a non-Jewish person; not because they are not fine and decent people, but because you will be setting yourself up for unnecessary heartache.

I get very sad when I hear Rabbis and Rebbetzins speak about how if a person knew that for every act of kindness they would get a reward it would be a no brainer and they would keep doing acts of kindness just for the reward.

I feel that this so takes away from the natural goodness of some people. Isn't it supposed to be that a person would visit her mother in law with and without good things happening to them?

I know that I try to do the right thing no matter what; I have never had a tit for tat attitude about being a good person. It saddens me to think that people do.

I also think it is very hard to "hang in there" when there are no changes for the good taking place in a person's life. It's easy to do so when things are going relatively well; when they're not it's really asking alot.

With all that, please do not date a non-Jew. It will not lead to happiness. Life I thought could be fulfilled.

Like I found out you cannot compair apples. When you really want something in life, then just pray for it.

Also, I hope you are not letting men know how desperate you feel. Nobody likes to be pressured.

Good luck, dear, and I will pray for you too. It seems like this Woman already has her expectations of a Jewish Man already firmly set in her mind?

I want to be in love, get married and have kids. That's my priority. Like Sara, most Jewish women wait for marriage before giving birth as their fertility wanes.

Pew Research reports that never married Jewish women are mothers to only 0. And like many never-married Jewish women, Sara is not alone in her consideration of later-age intermarriage.

I contacted Pew Research for a deeper understanding as to whether it's Jewish men or women who are more likely to intermarry.

The previous study by the NJPS suggested that Jewish women are less likely to intermarry, citing a higher sense of Jewish spirituality and greater desire to marry within.

But the new Pew Research data proves otherwise. Among married Jewish men, 41 percent are married to a non-Jewish spouse.

While only a slight difference, Jewish women are more likely to marry non-Jewish men than Jewish men are likely to marry non-Jewish women and that raises the question as to why.

Are we simply not meeting compatible mates? While a quarter of American Jews have never married, Liga Plaveniece added that "of single, never married Jews, 53 percent are men and 47 percent are women.

So, if there are more single Jewish men perhaps a surprise to single female Jewish readers who lament a lack of available Jewish men , then why are nearly half of Jewish women intermarrying?

Perhaps it's because Judaism is matrilineal; no matter whom we marry, our babies are Jewish by halacha Jewish law.

I admit this is an anecdotal and not research-based assumption. Perhaps Jewish women find it harder to meet potential Jewish mates that they connect with on multiple levels, like Lianne, Sara and myself?

Perhaps Jewish men are less interested in marriage overall? The data doesn't offer answers to these questions. But what is does report is that "American Jews overwhelmingly say they are proud to be Jewish and have a strong sense of belonging to the Jewish people.

And yet our collective fertility rate, i. Disclaimer: I am among them. A suggestion: stop defining them by their relationship status, and instead use them for their expertise.

In fact, one of the most striking things about the New York article was that it was not a lament about women and their singleness.

Women are increasingly choosing to put their careers first to become powerbrokers and change makers in the world. This is just as true in the Jewish community as it is outside of it.

So how can we extend those ideas to benefit our communities? Women who are powerful and successful at work have the ability to bring their tools to their Jewish communities as well.

They can be our communal powerhouses, bringing their skills of negotiation, relationship building, fundraising and marketing to our synagogues, community centers and non-profits, both as professionals and as lay leaders.

However, if they are going to want to invest in us, we need to change our vision to make space for them. Rather than counting success through marriages and babies, we must expand our definitions to include promotions, career transitions, and the building of families by choice.

Because we need to remember — single women will be a rich resource, as long as we do not treat them as a problem that needs to be solved.

Either we see them as the individuals they are, ready to contribute, or we see only the lack of a ring on their finger, and they will leave.

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